This is what's on my mind

Most people use blogs so they can share how they're feeling with the rest of the world. I've personally always been an advocate of sharing your feelings, but not complaining, must be the Miller in me, but the idea of publicly addressing my sentiments never seemed pertinent before. I have however recently been experiencing my first serious pangs of homesickness and apparently blogging seems to be the answer. It seems strange that almost 4 months into my program it's the first time I'm feeling out of place and wishing for something a little more familiar. I think it's less that I want to physically be home, but rather that I wish the people from home were here. This seems weird to me because my parents are coming to visit in about 1 month and my boyfriend will be here in less than that. So why now? After I'm so comfortable getting myself around a new place, navigating a new language with near proficiency and settling into a wonderful host family, am I feeling like I want to see everyone from home?
Now I could go ahead and quote every cliche that everyone who is reading this might be thinking; such as "absence makes the heart grow fonder" "the W curve of study abroad (for all of you K kids)" and while I think there is more truth to those than I would normally credit, I would hate to put my feelings into a quote or a graph. Though, I have been searching for answers or reasons, damn Miller genes, I'm not sure there is one. The heart really does it's own thing. I suspect however that my heart pains have to do with some of the following:
-It's November, and it's 75 degrees outside...this is not normal for me.
-Christmas decorations are going up on palm trees, and Santa Claus called my home phone the other day to say 'Ho, ho, ho' to my host mom. Evergreen trees and snow have always been some of my favorite parts of the holiday season. 'I'm dreaming of a white Christmas' doesn't seem to have the same ring to it when I'm sitting on the beach.
-As my program's end is nearing I start thinking about all of the things waiting back in the States for me. I've never been really good at living in the moment for too long. (not that I'm not enjoying myself right now!!!)
-After 4 months of meeting new and wonderful people, you can't help but be reminded of all the other great people that you've spent years getting to know back home.
-After 4 months of discovering an insurmountable number of new places, you can't help but remember all of the great ones back home (Steak and Shake, the quad, my backyard)
As I think of all of these things I think HOW COULD I NOT BE HOMESICK?! But, then I realize that part of me will always be here in Chile, just like part of me will always be in Argentina and Guatemala and the Adirondacks and Kalamazoo, and so many other places. I've consciously been leaving bits of my heart around the world, knowing that I'll be back for them and that they will always be there for me. Knowing that the people I leave them with will keep them safe, just as I keep them with me everywhere I go. My mom has always said that I was born with big wings, and I've definitely put them to the test, spreading heart shaped bread crumbs around the world. While I seem to always be on the go, I know that getting off the plane in Albany in January will be a welcome relief. Just as I know the next time I get on a plane to who knows where, it will be a welcome adventure.
cure for homesickness? there isn't one. I think that's okay, because that means there is something worth missing somewhere in the world.
p.s I'M FINE. I still love everything about everything here, and am looking forward to living the next few months to the fullest.Me in the Atacama Desert...Sorry I always look awkward. Atacama stories to come soon!